20. The One with the Gun Pointing at Your Vagina
Freud would have a field day deconstructing the meaning of a piece of body art that implies the bloody mutilation of one’s reproductive organs.
19. The One that Makes You Look like a Cross between a Tiger and Ivan Drago
What this woman has done to her body is inexcusable. However, it would’ve been completely acceptable if she made herself look like a cross between a tiger and Apollo Creed.
18. The One That Implies You Have A Baby-Eating Shark In Your Armpit
Woman: “Do you have any tattoo designs that feature a shark eating a baby?”
Tattoo Artist: “But, of course. It’s one of our most popular.”
Woman: “Great! How much will it cost to put it on my armpit?”
17. The One of Honoring Barack Obama
Some people have celebrated the election of America’s first African-American President with collector plates and commemorative T-shirts. At least one woman decided a permanent image inked into her shoulder was the best way to honor the historic occasion. Now that’s ink we can believe in!
16. The One Of The Vagina… On Your Arm
There are two types of people in this world. The ones that think getting a tattoo of a vagina is horrifically classless and then this woman.
15. The One That’s Likely to Get Your Boyfriend (or Domestic Partner) Thrown in Jail
Have you ever been brutally beaten and thought, “This is a good look for me.” Well, someone out there did.
14. The One That Inks Twitter On Your Abdomen
If you’re going to be so hardcore, at least use your Twitter handle so we can follow you. We love crazy!
13. The One that Turns Your Leg into a Children’s Game
Why stop at a connect-the-dots tattoo? Why not a word search? Or “The New York Times” crossword puzzle?
12. The One That Turns Your Prime Real Estate Into A Board Game
What’s weirder? Someone who turns her chest into an ad for a classic board game or someone who does it then declares it sucks?
11. The One that Turns Your Prime Real Estate into a Pirate Flag
Arrrgggh matey! Me thinks this fair wench has some serious issues.
10. The One That Fingers You As A Suspect Should Anything Happen To Ray Romano
The bad news is that someone wants to kill Ray Romano. The good news is that Brad Garrett has nothing to worry about.
9. The One That Honors Your Daughter
There’s no way to properly express the love a mother feels for her child. But if you do try to express it, perhaps turning your daughter’s likeness into a bad tattoo isn’t the way to go.
8. The One that Looks like a White Zombie Album Cover
We think this tattoo is supposed to depict what Marilyn of The Munsters would’ve looked like if she was a hooker.
7. Will Ferrell In”Elf”
Wow. Merry Christmas to you!
6. The One that Makes you a Creature of our Nightmares
Want to make a child cry? Invite this woman to your house.
5. The One that Could Get you Sued by George Lucas
A long time ago… on a sunburned back far, far away…
4. The One that Places a Bible Verse Right Above Your Ass Crack
Nothing drives home the righteous message of the Good Book quite like reading a verse from it off a young woman’s back. Hallelujah!
3. The One Inappropriately Mourns The Death Of Patrick Swayze
Look, we’re all sad. This is just a little far… just a little
2. The One that Reminds Us Of ‘50s Doo-Wop
Back angel, back angel… will you mine?
1. The One that Depicts Two Mythical Creatures Getting’ It On
This image would make a great black light poster. It makes a less than great shoulder tattoo.